Today was ‘one of those days’. The children were home from school and my two year old decided that he didn’t need a nap. I willed his sleep to come. I sat by his door – I walked away. The sleep did not come. After some time I gave up and let him come out. His smile was reward enough – almost.
The children were going a bit stir crazy so we loaded the car and headed out for a few local errands and then a stop at the ice-cream store on the way home.
There always seems to be lots of bickering in the car. It’s hard not to – they are sitting so close to each other – it begs the ‘you’re touching me’ and ’stop breathing so loud’ comments from flowing forth. And flow they do. Much as I tried (and tried and tried) ignoring it – the fighting really irked me.
Today there was whining and kicking (by accident!) and name calling and more whining.
By the time I pulled back into the garage I was fairly spent. So, I told the children (ages ten, eight and five) that they should go spend some quiet time in their rooms. I was careful not to use the words ‘time out’ – I just needed a bit of space.
About 45 minutes later, the five year old asks me if he could come out. I headed up to his room to chat with him for a few minutes and I noticed a cute little drawing on his wall. Yes, on the wall!
I could not believe that he drew on the wall! My first reaction was to really ‘give it to him’. He knows he can’t write on walls! (Doesn’t he?) And this is my house and how dare he etc. etc.
But, on second thought, I thought the drawing was really sweet. He had drawn two people – clearly one of them was him and there was a heart between the two people. Then he had written his name (twice) under the picture. Plus, I know that if I want to, I can scrub it off.
I take a deep breathe.
I asked him (very calmly), “Is there a rule in this house that we don’t write on walls?”
“I don’t know,” he looked a bit scared, but sincere none the less. ”But there is now,” he added. I bit my tongue so as not to laugh.
“Next time,” I said patiently, “you need ask me if you want to write on the wall.”
He looked relieved. I asked him who the other person in the picture is (thinking he was going to say me, or perhaps his father). He told me that it was his sister who he was fighting with and had kicked in the car (accidentally :- ). He said the picture was to remind him that he really does love her.
My jaw dropped a bit.
I think I’ll leave the drawing right where it is.
