Check out our new ‘Mindful Doc’ section on our menu. Questions can be submitted in the comments section to Dr. Lelach Rave.
Question: I am the parent of 2 children ages 3 and 5. With summer here and the pre-school year complete, I am feeling the effects of the move from a very scheduled day to a very open ended day. I am thinking about signing up for some of the day camps around town particularly the more educational ones so they can learn and socialize, but am concerned that my children might just need the break from routine and that I am pushing them too hard. I want them to be engaged and entertained this summer, but I also like the idea of just going with where the day takes us and spending it together without commitments to camps. What advice do you have for a parent such as myself?
Answer: Questions of scheduling and down time are always challenging. There is no one “right” answer and what works best for your children and family will depend on their temperaments and your attitude.
Some people are extroverts; they get their energy from interacting with others. Some people are introverts, they recharge by being on their own, and while they may enjoy people, being with others drains their energy. If your child is an extrovert, they may be in heaven in a camp setting. If your child is an introvert, they may flourish spending more time on there own or just with family.
There are many fabulous programs to choose from in our area. I am struck by your comment about “educational” programs. Especially for young children, EVERYTHING is educational and much of the most important learning is in the social/emotional realm and not traditional “book learning.”
Young children learn through play and especially imaginative play. So, fun=education for kids! They can have fun in a structured setting or free form at home with you. Both work and the attitude you bring as a parent will largely determine the experience of your child.
Camp can be a structured, regimented continuation of the school year routine, or it can be a great new adventure. Being at home with mom or dad can be an exercise in occupying oneself while parents struggle to get laundry, cooking and errands done, or it can be spontaneous new adventures and quality time each day. And, given that we all have errands to complete, some combination of both is a solution that works well for many families.
But, if parents need to work and camp is not a choice but a necessity, do not feel like you are over scheduling your child. Approach it with the right attitude and choose a program that understands the value of play. And if camp is not in the cards due to financial strains or other issues, do not feel like you are depriving your child of opportunities to learn or socialize. A backyard or park can easily become a pirate ship and siblings and neighbors (or willing parents!) can make great shipmates.
Finally, think about your needs. Do you need structure to maintain your own sanity? Does time away from the kids make you a better parent? Or, are you energized by the idea of a summer full of days just waiting to be filled with adventures in the park, zoo, garden and museum? There is truth to the saying that a happy parent makes for a happy kid.
Photo by Timmyjohn1
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Thanks for your thoughtful insight on this. I particularly liked what you had to say about everything being an educational opportunity for our kids. We often forget this and think we have to use a regimented program to get that education.
I also think that, at least in my community, there is a unspoken pressure to sign your kids up for camps rather than have those open ended days you described above. Being true to what works for your family and not necessarily what everyone else is doing is an important concept to stay in touch with.